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16 Oct 2020

Relationship: Stop a Split in its Tracks!


Recently I’ve noticed that every time I read online news, up crops another celebrity relationship break-up/divorce announcement. Sometimes it feels like no one stays together anymore!

If we are being honest, when we read some announcements, we may not be that surprised – perhaps the match seemed a little odd to begin with! But others genuinely are surprising and make us quite sad, especially when it has been a long-term union.

Kelly Clarkson (our cover star), has been married since 2013 to Brandon Blackstock and they have two children together. Complicating things further is the fact he is her career manager too…Who knows why a split like this happens, but rumours of work commitments and the recent lockdown exacerbating problems have been suggested.

Christina Ricci has filed for divorce from her husband (James Heerdegen) of seven years, citing irreconcilable differences. Dr. Dre & Nicole Young, Jaime King & Kyle Newman, Kristin Cavallari & Jay Cuttler and even Jennifer Grey (Dirty Dancing) & Clark Gregg are joining the divorce statistics – all announced in recent months.

Sadly, married couples are not the only casualties Ryan Seacrest & Shayna Taylor on-again off-again relationship is in trouble once more and Scott Disick & Sofia Richie have split – only time will tell if its for good or not.

In the UK, Fern Britton and Phil Vickery announced that they are divorcing after they “just fell apart” following a twenty-year marriage.

So, we could all be forgiven for thinking what will become of our own relationships if with all the trappings of success celebrities can’t make their relationships work?

Well, the Covid-19 crisis has been an extraordinary set of circumstances, and as such it has brought about unique difficulties, putting many relationships under strain. But, try not to judge your relationship with the current perspective and look at how you can prevent a split before it happens…

So, if recent events have left your relationship on the brink…What can you do now?

First – Ask yourself a set of hard questions:

Second – Identify the Root Cause:

This might be easier than it sounds, but getting to the root cause of frustrations is a great place to start. Are you arguing/worrying about money? Is one person taking on the bulk of child-care and housework? Or are you simply growing apart, with more friends and interests outside of the relationship than in?

Third – Take Action:

Fleshing out a response like this allows your partner to understand the problem, and why it was so emotive to you. The underlying issue was about money concerns – not about cereal brands! But in the height of an argument these messages can become confused.

Fourth – Reconnect:

When you are not so angry with each other, and day-to-day niggles have been put aside. It can be easier to reconnect with your partner.

Spending large quantities of time together, can dull the senses and send us into taking people for granted. So, really try and notice them. Complement them. Remember the things that brought you together in the first place.

Fifth – Feeling Loved:

There is no better time than now to appreciate that how each of us feel loved, is not the same for everyone. Perhaps you love a gift for no reason. Your favourite flowers being bought every once in a while. To others, there is nothing like someone who tidies the kitchen at the end of the evening, or makes a packed-lunch every day.

Discovering what makes your partner feel loved, might surprise you. Trying to please each other and talking the same ‘love language’, can be both life-enhancing and relationship building.

Written by: I4C_Blog_Admin