14 Feb 2025
Relationship & Connection: Valentine's Day
Let’s be honest, love and relationships depicted in movies – from the ‘meet-cute’ to the first kiss, wedding day, new home, etc. – are rarely the same as a real-life relationship. After the initial heady days of getting to know each other, it quickly turns into whose turn it is to wash up and take out the bins!
As Valentine’s Day is here again, we believe it would be a great time to explore how you can nurture your relationship and ensure you have a strong connection to move forward into the future with.
Show you care
In relationships, love is often more powerful through actions rather than words. Each person has a unique ‘love language’. You might be surprised by how loved someone feels when you make an effort to do something for them, especially tasks they dislike. I’m not referring to grand gestures, but simple daily acts like sorting recycling, bringing a cup of tea in bed, assisting with homework, or watching their favourite TV show.
Look out for bids for attention in your relationship
When life is busy, perhaps you are cooking or tidying the house, sending an email. It is easy to overlook when your partner is trying to connect with you. Try to really lean into the moments when they are communicating with you. It might seem like a mundane work story or a trivial bit of news they heard on the radio, but these small acts of giving and receiving attention help keep intimacy alive in a relationship. Put down your phone, stop your activity, and really listen and engage.
Don’t stop asking meaningful questions
When we first start dating, we ask and answer a lot of questions. However, as time passes and the relationship becomes more established, we often stop checking in with each other. Life starts revolving more around decisions like what to watch on TV or have for dinner rather than discussing what we envision our life to be like in five years’ time. Asking deeper questions ensures that we remain connected and prevents issues arising from feeling disconnected due to having different long-term goals.
Quickfire Things to Know and Think About:
- Know that change will happen. It’s important to weather changes together. When you commit to someone long-term, it’s impossible to know where life will take you in 10-20 years. But navigating things together is key.
- Take things in turn. Life and love will have its ups and downs; sometimes these will just be happening to one of you at a time. During these key moments, pick up the slack for your partner, give them the time and space they need to come out the other side.
- Desire will ebb and flow. There are many life stages, from having a baby to stresses like redundancy, moving house, caring for others, grieving etc., that can impact the romantic side of a relationship. During these times, practice the things above so that your connection and intimacy stay intact; it will be much easier to return to normal once the event has passed if you are still connected in many other ways.
